Time changes people. I wished we never changed.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Day end+1
I don't know if u read my blog since i got no word from u. But thanks for not deleting some stuffs from my iphone. I saw lots of things in lovebyte. You were alot nicer back then.. so was i. I miss those days.. wouldnt u like to bring back those days together with me? Only thing i realise was the things the way u texted john in oovoo was the same like how we texted on fb. Same like how we began.
Seems like u are trying to bring back the good times without me.. 😔
Seems like u are trying to bring back the good times without me.. 😔
Telah Ku Meluahkan,
Segala Apa Terpendam Dalam Hatiku,
Untuk Dirimu,
Namun Hanya Mencaci,
Lukisan Mimpi Untukku.
Segala Apa Terpendam Dalam Hatiku,
Untuk Dirimu,
Namun Hanya Mencaci,
Lukisan Mimpi Untukku.
Tiada Kata Cinta,
Yang Dapat Aku Menggambar,
Selain Kasih Sayang,
Akan Aku Damba Sampai Syurga,
Kita Berdua Kecapinya.
Yang Dapat Aku Menggambar,
Selain Kasih Sayang,
Akan Aku Damba Sampai Syurga,
Kita Berdua Kecapinya.
Engkaulah Wanita Yang Ku Agung,
Untuk Menjadi Suri Di Hatiku,
Yang Menjadi Penawar Hidupku.
Untuk Menjadi Suri Di Hatiku,
Yang Menjadi Penawar Hidupku.
Tuhan Aku Merayu,
Jagakan Bidadari Hatiku,
Walau Aku Tak Mampu Milikinya.
Jagakan Bidadari Hatiku,
Walau Aku Tak Mampu Milikinya.
Setiap Doaku Terpancar Namamu,
Engkaulah Wanita Yang Ku Agung,
Untuk Menjadi Suri Di Hatiku,
Yang Menjadi Penawar Hidupku.
Untuk Menjadi Suri Di Hatiku,
Yang Menjadi Penawar Hidupku.
Tuhan Aku Merayu,
Jagakan Bidadari Hatiku,
Walau Aku Tak Mampu Milikinya.
Jagakan Bidadari Hatiku,
Walau Aku Tak Mampu Milikinya.
Day end
I dont want anyone else to know how i feel. Only u. I havent been able to sleep a second since last night.
Why is it that after so many times u break me apart i still kept crawling back? It kills me doing this. Im aware yet i still do it.
How do i let go... how do i let go of a person i loved so so so much? How do i walk away Z? How do i do what u do? Would u be kind enough to tell me?
I know i never loved someone this much before. Its not the memories Z.. its the experience the journey we went thru together. It strengthened my love for u but at the same time the journey weakened yours.
I dont want u to wake up to spams. So read this as so and when u have time.
I know i lost your respect seeing the way u treat me. Yet im still hard headed. I still break down at times. I still behave stupidly. I still throw away my self respect.
Seandainya hati u tkda pada i lagi.. biar kekosongan in diisi dengan rindu aje. Sandainya di fikiran u tkda lagi diri i.. biar diisi dengan taman yang indah penuh berbunga. Tak sanggup lagi i derita dan tak sanggup lagi dibuat u derita. Biar u mencari kebahagiaan hati u sendiri. I percaya u tahu apa yang terbaik buat diri u. Kalau i jadi gila biar i jadi gila bersendirian. Cuma i harap u akan tetap tahu apa u buat. Setiap langkah u, u tahu mana u pergi.
Apa yang ikhlas dari i, i harap u simpan dalam diri. Apa yang buruk dari i, i harap u buang sebagai pelajaran. Kemana arah kita takda org pun tahu. Biar kebaikkan biar keburukkan kita sendiri yang akan tahu suatu masa ni. Biar perpisahan ini suatu kesilapan atau pun untuk yang terbaik. Yang penting pendiriaan kita biar kita pegang. Atas mak andam dan rumah tu i serahkan pada u. Bila u bersedia, i akan bersedia. Tuhan jagalah bidadari hatiku.
Kasih sayang tk boleh dibeli, kasih sayang tak boleh diminta. Biar ia datang dan pergi dengan sendiri. Sejujur mana kasih sayang di hati u hilang, seikhlas itu i terima pemergiannya. Seumpama bintang hilang di waktu siang.. begitu juga hilang diri i sehingga tiba waktu malam. Sejauh mana u bawak diri, sejauh itu i ucapkan selamat tinggal.
Deep down.. i would love to get married have kids. But with my dreams broken. I cant bring myself to have those anymore 😔. I would love to be able to love again but i just can't.
No one would dare to love a broken man.
Please at least reply to me last on ig for the 2 things below.. i won't bother u anymore on ig after that..
1) tell me how and what should i do to remove u from mind and heart...
2) why do u do so much and go so far for john?
Please.. for old times sake.
By the time u read this.. i try my best.. to be gone. Simpan ku dalam doa mu.
Why is it that after so many times u break me apart i still kept crawling back? It kills me doing this. Im aware yet i still do it.
How do i let go... how do i let go of a person i loved so so so much? How do i walk away Z? How do i do what u do? Would u be kind enough to tell me?
I know i never loved someone this much before. Its not the memories Z.. its the experience the journey we went thru together. It strengthened my love for u but at the same time the journey weakened yours.
I dont want u to wake up to spams. So read this as so and when u have time.
I know i lost your respect seeing the way u treat me. Yet im still hard headed. I still break down at times. I still behave stupidly. I still throw away my self respect.
Seandainya hati u tkda pada i lagi.. biar kekosongan in diisi dengan rindu aje. Sandainya di fikiran u tkda lagi diri i.. biar diisi dengan taman yang indah penuh berbunga. Tak sanggup lagi i derita dan tak sanggup lagi dibuat u derita. Biar u mencari kebahagiaan hati u sendiri. I percaya u tahu apa yang terbaik buat diri u. Kalau i jadi gila biar i jadi gila bersendirian. Cuma i harap u akan tetap tahu apa u buat. Setiap langkah u, u tahu mana u pergi.
Apa yang ikhlas dari i, i harap u simpan dalam diri. Apa yang buruk dari i, i harap u buang sebagai pelajaran. Kemana arah kita takda org pun tahu. Biar kebaikkan biar keburukkan kita sendiri yang akan tahu suatu masa ni. Biar perpisahan ini suatu kesilapan atau pun untuk yang terbaik. Yang penting pendiriaan kita biar kita pegang. Atas mak andam dan rumah tu i serahkan pada u. Bila u bersedia, i akan bersedia. Tuhan jagalah bidadari hatiku.
Kasih sayang tk boleh dibeli, kasih sayang tak boleh diminta. Biar ia datang dan pergi dengan sendiri. Sejujur mana kasih sayang di hati u hilang, seikhlas itu i terima pemergiannya. Seumpama bintang hilang di waktu siang.. begitu juga hilang diri i sehingga tiba waktu malam. Sejauh mana u bawak diri, sejauh itu i ucapkan selamat tinggal.
Deep down.. i would love to get married have kids. But with my dreams broken. I cant bring myself to have those anymore 😔. I would love to be able to love again but i just can't.
No one would dare to love a broken man.
Please at least reply to me last on ig for the 2 things below.. i won't bother u anymore on ig after that..
1) tell me how and what should i do to remove u from mind and heart...
2) why do u do so much and go so far for john?
Please.. for old times sake.
By the time u read this.. i try my best.. to be gone. Simpan ku dalam doa mu.
I kept my promise since 2013 to marry you and never run away... where are u now?
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
D-48
January 17 2017.. I told myself this would be the last day id express my love to u openly... I hope this would give u strength in the future when u feel there is no love anywhere.. Just know that.. Love for u will always exist in my heart.. forever.
If u can't ever find love.. Just know its always here..
I love you Norziana Bte Mohd Hanifah and will always do. Honestly.. Truly.. From deep in my heart... Fadhli will always love Ziana.
If u can't ever find love.. Just know its always here..
I love you Norziana Bte Mohd Hanifah and will always do. Honestly.. Truly.. From deep in my heart... Fadhli will always love Ziana.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
D-46
Happiness.. Pain.. Smiles..
Suffering.. Freedom.. Tears.. Joy.. Anger.. Laughter..
Between us.. 15 Jan 2017 i officially let you go as my fiancee (in my heart).. I can't hurt u anymore. All this while i tried to do things to get back your smile but all i got was tears and anger. Like i said we can talk normally but don't label me as a friend.. i refuse to go in the friendzone. Better off as ex-fiance.
I don't know what u talk to people about us but i hope im not insulted infront of them. Between me and my friends i chose to protect u instead. It was a bad start to the morning for me. And as always i know its my fault for trying too hard. Thats why to not further shame myself..
I set you free officially...
If comes a time when your heart calls for my name.. I'll be there to answer that call. Im not the type who moves on so fast/easily. Still have to try to be strong. Still have to try to expect nothing at all.
Ziana is no longer attached to Fadhli against her will as of 15 Jan 17.
Fadhli still loves Ziana as of 15 Jan 17. Give me my own pace to move on because i still can't.
When I close my eyes
I see those eyes
Suffering.. Freedom.. Tears.. Joy.. Anger.. Laughter..
Between us.. 15 Jan 2017 i officially let you go as my fiancee (in my heart).. I can't hurt u anymore. All this while i tried to do things to get back your smile but all i got was tears and anger. Like i said we can talk normally but don't label me as a friend.. i refuse to go in the friendzone. Better off as ex-fiance.
I don't know what u talk to people about us but i hope im not insulted infront of them. Between me and my friends i chose to protect u instead. It was a bad start to the morning for me. And as always i know its my fault for trying too hard. Thats why to not further shame myself..
I set you free officially...
If comes a time when your heart calls for my name.. I'll be there to answer that call. Im not the type who moves on so fast/easily. Still have to try to be strong. Still have to try to expect nothing at all.
Ziana is no longer attached to Fadhli against her will as of 15 Jan 17.
Fadhli still loves Ziana as of 15 Jan 17. Give me my own pace to move on because i still can't.
When I close my eyes
I see those eyes
My heart kept aching
So I wanted to forget
So I wanted to forget
If this is a dream, please let me wake up
Are you really my destiny?
Falling you
Are you really my destiny?
Falling you
Like destiny, falling
You’re calling out to me, calling
I can’t escape
Please hold me
You’re calling out to me, calling
I can’t escape
Please hold me
Are you the line of my fate?
Are you the one I’ve been waiting for?
Why is my heart sinking?
Are you the one I’ve been waiting for?
Why is my heart sinking?
(Stay with me)
Are you living
Deep in my heart?
(Stay with me)
The truth hidden in me
Are you living
Deep in my heart?
(Stay with me)
The truth hidden in me
When I close my eyes
I see those eyes
I see those eyes
My heart kept aching
So I wanted to forget
So I wanted to forget
If this is a dream, please let me wake up
Are you really my destiny?
Falling you
Are you really my destiny?
Falling you
My heart is racing
I’m still looking at you
Because I keep running out of breath
I’m still looking at you
Because I keep running out of breath
I’m still watching over you
From far away
Why am I being like this?
From far away
Why am I being like this?
Different from the moment I first saw you
This time of fate is passing slowly
My heart was heading towards you
My heart was racing again
This time of fate is passing slowly
My heart was heading towards you
My heart was racing again
The faint light was turned off
But my eyes are lighting up again because of you
Feels like I’ve loved you from a long time ago
Feels like I’m being pulled by something
But my eyes are lighting up again because of you
Feels like I’ve loved you from a long time ago
Feels like I’m being pulled by something
When I close my eyes
I see those eyes
I see those eyes
My heart kept aching
So I wanted to forget
So I wanted to forget
(If this is a dream)
If this is a dream, please let me wake up (it’s not a dream)
(Maybe you are)
Are you really my destiny?
(If you are my destiny)
Falling you
If this is a dream, please let me wake up (it’s not a dream)
(Maybe you are)
Are you really my destiny?
(If you are my destiny)
Falling you
Friday, January 13, 2017
D-45
Wish i could get to know you again.
Wish you'd go out with me.
Wish you'd date me again.
Insyallah maybe one day.
Time to go for a jog. To get my mind off things and to recover myself. I got no say unlike others who have the opportunity to ask u out. I wish i did. But i don't want to make u have bad impressions about me, so i'll protect your feelings.
But no over thinking. Time to run run run chasing myself.
Came back from a short jog. It was nice to sweat once in awhile. Helps me think about things i could do for my self recovery / peace finding. I want to see the sunrise! :) Its been quite a long time since i saw one.. Im sure it'll be good for me. Time for abit of rest legs wobbly from the running..
Even if u won't want to date me anymore in the future.. Im still up for jogs and badminton sessions if u ever need someone to accompany u. :D
Fad Still in love with Ziana as of 14 Jan 17.
Wish you'd go out with me.
Wish you'd date me again.
Insyallah maybe one day.
Time to go for a jog. To get my mind off things and to recover myself. I got no say unlike others who have the opportunity to ask u out. I wish i did. But i don't want to make u have bad impressions about me, so i'll protect your feelings.
But no over thinking. Time to run run run chasing myself.
Came back from a short jog. It was nice to sweat once in awhile. Helps me think about things i could do for my self recovery / peace finding. I want to see the sunrise! :) Its been quite a long time since i saw one.. Im sure it'll be good for me. Time for abit of rest legs wobbly from the running..
Even if u won't want to date me anymore in the future.. Im still up for jogs and badminton sessions if u ever need someone to accompany u. :D
Fad Still in love with Ziana as of 14 Jan 17.
Check yes Z
Are you with me
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside
Check yes Juliet kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight
Are you with me
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside
Check yes Juliet kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight
Lace up your shoes
Here's how we do
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
Here's how we do
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
Check yes Juliet
I'll be waiting
Wishing wanting yours for the taking
Just sneak out and don't tell a soul goodbye
Check yes Juliet
Here's the countdown:
Three, two, one you fall in my arms now
They can change the locks, don't let them change your mind
I'll be waiting
Wishing wanting yours for the taking
Just sneak out and don't tell a soul goodbye
Check yes Juliet
Here's the countdown:
Three, two, one you fall in my arms now
They can change the locks, don't let them change your mind
Lace up your shoes
Here's how we do
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
Here's how we do
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
We're flying through the night
We're flying through the night
Way up high
The view from here is getting better with you
By my side
We're flying through the night
Way up high
The view from here is getting better with you
By my side
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
Run baby run, don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
You and me
You and me
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
Run baby run, don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
You and me
You and me
D-44 ep 2
What i expected a 10mins talk turned into 3hrs talk.. Honestly...
The feeling was great.
It was the strength i needed. We were able to talk things out and understand each other better.. For now i know i can't expect more.. But that was building our foundation again be it for as friends or as lovers. For the first time ever i didn't care if i dont go home from work.
It was great to have a conversation and listen to your lovely voice again.. But i know i can't get too carried away. I still have to focus on rebuilding myself first to be a better man. I would take our conversation as strength for me.. Something that i really appreciated.. Something to get through another long week.
I hope we can bring both families out for steamboat dinner.. Its a way to show that im thankful to both parents for always being there for us. Our parents are our strength and also our hope. Honestly, i was surprised by the things u did for your family.. I was proud that u are taking care of them well.. At least u are starting to do a good job as a daughter.. *thumbs up*
Im late to meet mario though that mamba.. Today's talk gave me another inspiration for an artpiece but i can't keep mario waiting.. Will try to start as soon as i can..
No matter what, where, when...
Fad loves Ziana as of 13 Jan 17
The feeling was great.
It was the strength i needed. We were able to talk things out and understand each other better.. For now i know i can't expect more.. But that was building our foundation again be it for as friends or as lovers. For the first time ever i didn't care if i dont go home from work.
It was great to have a conversation and listen to your lovely voice again.. But i know i can't get too carried away. I still have to focus on rebuilding myself first to be a better man. I would take our conversation as strength for me.. Something that i really appreciated.. Something to get through another long week.
I hope we can bring both families out for steamboat dinner.. Its a way to show that im thankful to both parents for always being there for us. Our parents are our strength and also our hope. Honestly, i was surprised by the things u did for your family.. I was proud that u are taking care of them well.. At least u are starting to do a good job as a daughter.. *thumbs up*
Im late to meet mario though that mamba.. Today's talk gave me another inspiration for an artpiece but i can't keep mario waiting.. Will try to start as soon as i can..
No matter what, where, when...
Fad loves Ziana as of 13 Jan 17
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