Time changes people. I wished we never changed.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Day end+1
I don't know if u read my blog since i got no word from u. But thanks for not deleting some stuffs from my iphone. I saw lots of things in lovebyte. You were alot nicer back then.. so was i. I miss those days.. wouldnt u like to bring back those days together with me? Only thing i realise was the things the way u texted john in oovoo was the same like how we texted on fb. Same like how we began.
Seems like u are trying to bring back the good times without me.. 😔
Seems like u are trying to bring back the good times without me.. 😔
Telah Ku Meluahkan,
Segala Apa Terpendam Dalam Hatiku,
Untuk Dirimu,
Namun Hanya Mencaci,
Lukisan Mimpi Untukku.
Segala Apa Terpendam Dalam Hatiku,
Untuk Dirimu,
Namun Hanya Mencaci,
Lukisan Mimpi Untukku.
Tiada Kata Cinta,
Yang Dapat Aku Menggambar,
Selain Kasih Sayang,
Akan Aku Damba Sampai Syurga,
Kita Berdua Kecapinya.
Yang Dapat Aku Menggambar,
Selain Kasih Sayang,
Akan Aku Damba Sampai Syurga,
Kita Berdua Kecapinya.
Engkaulah Wanita Yang Ku Agung,
Untuk Menjadi Suri Di Hatiku,
Yang Menjadi Penawar Hidupku.
Untuk Menjadi Suri Di Hatiku,
Yang Menjadi Penawar Hidupku.
Tuhan Aku Merayu,
Jagakan Bidadari Hatiku,
Walau Aku Tak Mampu Milikinya.
Jagakan Bidadari Hatiku,
Walau Aku Tak Mampu Milikinya.
Setiap Doaku Terpancar Namamu,
Engkaulah Wanita Yang Ku Agung,
Untuk Menjadi Suri Di Hatiku,
Yang Menjadi Penawar Hidupku.
Untuk Menjadi Suri Di Hatiku,
Yang Menjadi Penawar Hidupku.
Tuhan Aku Merayu,
Jagakan Bidadari Hatiku,
Walau Aku Tak Mampu Milikinya.
Jagakan Bidadari Hatiku,
Walau Aku Tak Mampu Milikinya.
Day end
I dont want anyone else to know how i feel. Only u. I havent been able to sleep a second since last night.
Why is it that after so many times u break me apart i still kept crawling back? It kills me doing this. Im aware yet i still do it.
How do i let go... how do i let go of a person i loved so so so much? How do i walk away Z? How do i do what u do? Would u be kind enough to tell me?
I know i never loved someone this much before. Its not the memories Z.. its the experience the journey we went thru together. It strengthened my love for u but at the same time the journey weakened yours.
I dont want u to wake up to spams. So read this as so and when u have time.
I know i lost your respect seeing the way u treat me. Yet im still hard headed. I still break down at times. I still behave stupidly. I still throw away my self respect.
Seandainya hati u tkda pada i lagi.. biar kekosongan in diisi dengan rindu aje. Sandainya di fikiran u tkda lagi diri i.. biar diisi dengan taman yang indah penuh berbunga. Tak sanggup lagi i derita dan tak sanggup lagi dibuat u derita. Biar u mencari kebahagiaan hati u sendiri. I percaya u tahu apa yang terbaik buat diri u. Kalau i jadi gila biar i jadi gila bersendirian. Cuma i harap u akan tetap tahu apa u buat. Setiap langkah u, u tahu mana u pergi.
Apa yang ikhlas dari i, i harap u simpan dalam diri. Apa yang buruk dari i, i harap u buang sebagai pelajaran. Kemana arah kita takda org pun tahu. Biar kebaikkan biar keburukkan kita sendiri yang akan tahu suatu masa ni. Biar perpisahan ini suatu kesilapan atau pun untuk yang terbaik. Yang penting pendiriaan kita biar kita pegang. Atas mak andam dan rumah tu i serahkan pada u. Bila u bersedia, i akan bersedia. Tuhan jagalah bidadari hatiku.
Kasih sayang tk boleh dibeli, kasih sayang tak boleh diminta. Biar ia datang dan pergi dengan sendiri. Sejujur mana kasih sayang di hati u hilang, seikhlas itu i terima pemergiannya. Seumpama bintang hilang di waktu siang.. begitu juga hilang diri i sehingga tiba waktu malam. Sejauh mana u bawak diri, sejauh itu i ucapkan selamat tinggal.
Deep down.. i would love to get married have kids. But with my dreams broken. I cant bring myself to have those anymore 😔. I would love to be able to love again but i just can't.
No one would dare to love a broken man.
Please at least reply to me last on ig for the 2 things below.. i won't bother u anymore on ig after that..
1) tell me how and what should i do to remove u from mind and heart...
2) why do u do so much and go so far for john?
Please.. for old times sake.
By the time u read this.. i try my best.. to be gone. Simpan ku dalam doa mu.
Why is it that after so many times u break me apart i still kept crawling back? It kills me doing this. Im aware yet i still do it.
How do i let go... how do i let go of a person i loved so so so much? How do i walk away Z? How do i do what u do? Would u be kind enough to tell me?
I know i never loved someone this much before. Its not the memories Z.. its the experience the journey we went thru together. It strengthened my love for u but at the same time the journey weakened yours.
I dont want u to wake up to spams. So read this as so and when u have time.
I know i lost your respect seeing the way u treat me. Yet im still hard headed. I still break down at times. I still behave stupidly. I still throw away my self respect.
Seandainya hati u tkda pada i lagi.. biar kekosongan in diisi dengan rindu aje. Sandainya di fikiran u tkda lagi diri i.. biar diisi dengan taman yang indah penuh berbunga. Tak sanggup lagi i derita dan tak sanggup lagi dibuat u derita. Biar u mencari kebahagiaan hati u sendiri. I percaya u tahu apa yang terbaik buat diri u. Kalau i jadi gila biar i jadi gila bersendirian. Cuma i harap u akan tetap tahu apa u buat. Setiap langkah u, u tahu mana u pergi.
Apa yang ikhlas dari i, i harap u simpan dalam diri. Apa yang buruk dari i, i harap u buang sebagai pelajaran. Kemana arah kita takda org pun tahu. Biar kebaikkan biar keburukkan kita sendiri yang akan tahu suatu masa ni. Biar perpisahan ini suatu kesilapan atau pun untuk yang terbaik. Yang penting pendiriaan kita biar kita pegang. Atas mak andam dan rumah tu i serahkan pada u. Bila u bersedia, i akan bersedia. Tuhan jagalah bidadari hatiku.
Kasih sayang tk boleh dibeli, kasih sayang tak boleh diminta. Biar ia datang dan pergi dengan sendiri. Sejujur mana kasih sayang di hati u hilang, seikhlas itu i terima pemergiannya. Seumpama bintang hilang di waktu siang.. begitu juga hilang diri i sehingga tiba waktu malam. Sejauh mana u bawak diri, sejauh itu i ucapkan selamat tinggal.
Deep down.. i would love to get married have kids. But with my dreams broken. I cant bring myself to have those anymore 😔. I would love to be able to love again but i just can't.
No one would dare to love a broken man.
Please at least reply to me last on ig for the 2 things below.. i won't bother u anymore on ig after that..
1) tell me how and what should i do to remove u from mind and heart...
2) why do u do so much and go so far for john?
Please.. for old times sake.
By the time u read this.. i try my best.. to be gone. Simpan ku dalam doa mu.
I kept my promise since 2013 to marry you and never run away... where are u now?
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
D-48
January 17 2017.. I told myself this would be the last day id express my love to u openly... I hope this would give u strength in the future when u feel there is no love anywhere.. Just know that.. Love for u will always exist in my heart.. forever.
If u can't ever find love.. Just know its always here..
I love you Norziana Bte Mohd Hanifah and will always do. Honestly.. Truly.. From deep in my heart... Fadhli will always love Ziana.
If u can't ever find love.. Just know its always here..
I love you Norziana Bte Mohd Hanifah and will always do. Honestly.. Truly.. From deep in my heart... Fadhli will always love Ziana.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
D-46
Happiness.. Pain.. Smiles..
Suffering.. Freedom.. Tears.. Joy.. Anger.. Laughter..
Between us.. 15 Jan 2017 i officially let you go as my fiancee (in my heart).. I can't hurt u anymore. All this while i tried to do things to get back your smile but all i got was tears and anger. Like i said we can talk normally but don't label me as a friend.. i refuse to go in the friendzone. Better off as ex-fiance.
I don't know what u talk to people about us but i hope im not insulted infront of them. Between me and my friends i chose to protect u instead. It was a bad start to the morning for me. And as always i know its my fault for trying too hard. Thats why to not further shame myself..
I set you free officially...
If comes a time when your heart calls for my name.. I'll be there to answer that call. Im not the type who moves on so fast/easily. Still have to try to be strong. Still have to try to expect nothing at all.
Ziana is no longer attached to Fadhli against her will as of 15 Jan 17.
Fadhli still loves Ziana as of 15 Jan 17. Give me my own pace to move on because i still can't.
When I close my eyes
I see those eyes
Suffering.. Freedom.. Tears.. Joy.. Anger.. Laughter..
Between us.. 15 Jan 2017 i officially let you go as my fiancee (in my heart).. I can't hurt u anymore. All this while i tried to do things to get back your smile but all i got was tears and anger. Like i said we can talk normally but don't label me as a friend.. i refuse to go in the friendzone. Better off as ex-fiance.
I don't know what u talk to people about us but i hope im not insulted infront of them. Between me and my friends i chose to protect u instead. It was a bad start to the morning for me. And as always i know its my fault for trying too hard. Thats why to not further shame myself..
I set you free officially...
If comes a time when your heart calls for my name.. I'll be there to answer that call. Im not the type who moves on so fast/easily. Still have to try to be strong. Still have to try to expect nothing at all.
Ziana is no longer attached to Fadhli against her will as of 15 Jan 17.
Fadhli still loves Ziana as of 15 Jan 17. Give me my own pace to move on because i still can't.
When I close my eyes
I see those eyes
My heart kept aching
So I wanted to forget
So I wanted to forget
If this is a dream, please let me wake up
Are you really my destiny?
Falling you
Are you really my destiny?
Falling you
Like destiny, falling
You’re calling out to me, calling
I can’t escape
Please hold me
You’re calling out to me, calling
I can’t escape
Please hold me
Are you the line of my fate?
Are you the one I’ve been waiting for?
Why is my heart sinking?
Are you the one I’ve been waiting for?
Why is my heart sinking?
(Stay with me)
Are you living
Deep in my heart?
(Stay with me)
The truth hidden in me
Are you living
Deep in my heart?
(Stay with me)
The truth hidden in me
When I close my eyes
I see those eyes
I see those eyes
My heart kept aching
So I wanted to forget
So I wanted to forget
If this is a dream, please let me wake up
Are you really my destiny?
Falling you
Are you really my destiny?
Falling you
My heart is racing
I’m still looking at you
Because I keep running out of breath
I’m still looking at you
Because I keep running out of breath
I’m still watching over you
From far away
Why am I being like this?
From far away
Why am I being like this?
Different from the moment I first saw you
This time of fate is passing slowly
My heart was heading towards you
My heart was racing again
This time of fate is passing slowly
My heart was heading towards you
My heart was racing again
The faint light was turned off
But my eyes are lighting up again because of you
Feels like I’ve loved you from a long time ago
Feels like I’m being pulled by something
But my eyes are lighting up again because of you
Feels like I’ve loved you from a long time ago
Feels like I’m being pulled by something
When I close my eyes
I see those eyes
I see those eyes
My heart kept aching
So I wanted to forget
So I wanted to forget
(If this is a dream)
If this is a dream, please let me wake up (it’s not a dream)
(Maybe you are)
Are you really my destiny?
(If you are my destiny)
Falling you
If this is a dream, please let me wake up (it’s not a dream)
(Maybe you are)
Are you really my destiny?
(If you are my destiny)
Falling you
Friday, January 13, 2017
D-45
Wish i could get to know you again.
Wish you'd go out with me.
Wish you'd date me again.
Insyallah maybe one day.
Time to go for a jog. To get my mind off things and to recover myself. I got no say unlike others who have the opportunity to ask u out. I wish i did. But i don't want to make u have bad impressions about me, so i'll protect your feelings.
But no over thinking. Time to run run run chasing myself.
Came back from a short jog. It was nice to sweat once in awhile. Helps me think about things i could do for my self recovery / peace finding. I want to see the sunrise! :) Its been quite a long time since i saw one.. Im sure it'll be good for me. Time for abit of rest legs wobbly from the running..
Even if u won't want to date me anymore in the future.. Im still up for jogs and badminton sessions if u ever need someone to accompany u. :D
Fad Still in love with Ziana as of 14 Jan 17.
Wish you'd go out with me.
Wish you'd date me again.
Insyallah maybe one day.
Time to go for a jog. To get my mind off things and to recover myself. I got no say unlike others who have the opportunity to ask u out. I wish i did. But i don't want to make u have bad impressions about me, so i'll protect your feelings.
But no over thinking. Time to run run run chasing myself.
Came back from a short jog. It was nice to sweat once in awhile. Helps me think about things i could do for my self recovery / peace finding. I want to see the sunrise! :) Its been quite a long time since i saw one.. Im sure it'll be good for me. Time for abit of rest legs wobbly from the running..
Even if u won't want to date me anymore in the future.. Im still up for jogs and badminton sessions if u ever need someone to accompany u. :D
Fad Still in love with Ziana as of 14 Jan 17.
Check yes Z
Are you with me
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside
Check yes Juliet kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight
Are you with me
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside
Check yes Juliet kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight
Lace up your shoes
Here's how we do
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
Here's how we do
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
Check yes Juliet
I'll be waiting
Wishing wanting yours for the taking
Just sneak out and don't tell a soul goodbye
Check yes Juliet
Here's the countdown:
Three, two, one you fall in my arms now
They can change the locks, don't let them change your mind
I'll be waiting
Wishing wanting yours for the taking
Just sneak out and don't tell a soul goodbye
Check yes Juliet
Here's the countdown:
Three, two, one you fall in my arms now
They can change the locks, don't let them change your mind
Lace up your shoes
Here's how we do
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
Here's how we do
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
We're flying through the night
We're flying through the night
Way up high
The view from here is getting better with you
By my side
We're flying through the night
Way up high
The view from here is getting better with you
By my side
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
Run baby run, don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
You and me
You and me
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
Run baby run, don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run, forever will be
You and me
You and me
You and me
D-44 ep 2
What i expected a 10mins talk turned into 3hrs talk.. Honestly...
The feeling was great.
It was the strength i needed. We were able to talk things out and understand each other better.. For now i know i can't expect more.. But that was building our foundation again be it for as friends or as lovers. For the first time ever i didn't care if i dont go home from work.
It was great to have a conversation and listen to your lovely voice again.. But i know i can't get too carried away. I still have to focus on rebuilding myself first to be a better man. I would take our conversation as strength for me.. Something that i really appreciated.. Something to get through another long week.
I hope we can bring both families out for steamboat dinner.. Its a way to show that im thankful to both parents for always being there for us. Our parents are our strength and also our hope. Honestly, i was surprised by the things u did for your family.. I was proud that u are taking care of them well.. At least u are starting to do a good job as a daughter.. *thumbs up*
Im late to meet mario though that mamba.. Today's talk gave me another inspiration for an artpiece but i can't keep mario waiting.. Will try to start as soon as i can..
No matter what, where, when...
Fad loves Ziana as of 13 Jan 17
The feeling was great.
It was the strength i needed. We were able to talk things out and understand each other better.. For now i know i can't expect more.. But that was building our foundation again be it for as friends or as lovers. For the first time ever i didn't care if i dont go home from work.
It was great to have a conversation and listen to your lovely voice again.. But i know i can't get too carried away. I still have to focus on rebuilding myself first to be a better man. I would take our conversation as strength for me.. Something that i really appreciated.. Something to get through another long week.
I hope we can bring both families out for steamboat dinner.. Its a way to show that im thankful to both parents for always being there for us. Our parents are our strength and also our hope. Honestly, i was surprised by the things u did for your family.. I was proud that u are taking care of them well.. At least u are starting to do a good job as a daughter.. *thumbs up*
Im late to meet mario though that mamba.. Today's talk gave me another inspiration for an artpiece but i can't keep mario waiting.. Will try to start as soon as i can..
No matter what, where, when...
Fad loves Ziana as of 13 Jan 17
Thursday, January 12, 2017
D-44
I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..
Time is 0115 hrs. This is the best way to get my mind off things. Get inspired instead of getting upset by the situation. Turning depression into inspiration. Im too tired to type at this moment.. Will continue in the morning at work.
What a day to start. Banged a car in the morning and he asked for $300 damage claim. No money for the moment. I would ask u to transfer me back the money i gave u earlier but nehhh i'll leave u alone. Will figure a way out.
So are u goin jb today? Be safe wherever u are. Im still hanging on to myself i guess it feels better being on photoshop these nights. Get my mind off things. Keeps my mind attached to the art piece im doing.
Hows things going with your family? Hope they are fine. Went of for dinner with my parents the other night at jalan kayu. Food was abit tasteless though.. but they are trying to help me so i should help myself too right?
Take good care of yourself. Stay away from doing stupid stuffs that make u regret. Live a proper life.
Fad still loves ziana as of 13 jan 17.
Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright
But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
And all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning and the tears are pouring
And I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
And all I know is
You got to give me everything
And nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning and the tears are pouring
And I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have
And all I know is
You got to give me everything
And nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning and the tears are pouring
And I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)
D-43 ep 2
Im wondering if you saw the email i wrote which i asked erika to show you. Hope i could get some words from u too but most likely won't kan. I really hope u don't misuse the $500 i gave u its from my savings. Its supposed to be for your travels but honestly i feel that its already being used right? Its ok if u did u must have your reasons kan.
Just want to share the things i keep praying for these days.. during my prayers i never fail to doa..
- For me to be stronger and better
- For u to be happy and safe
- And for allah to jodohkan kita berdua
" Ya allah kalau jodoh aku dan Norziana Bte Mohd Hanifah bukan lah untuk dunia ini, ku mohon kau jodohkan ku dengannya dia syurga "
You were always my special one someone irreplaceable. I never did things or cried for a girl like how i did before. Even in sadness and tears i was realising how much u meant to be. I told myself i was a fool for failing to look after u well.. But all i did was for your happiness. I can't bear to see u suffer so i chose to sacrifice my love,feelings and life so that the one i love can be happy.
People say "Everyone is gonna hurt you,but u gotta find the one worth suffering for"..
Yes Norziana Bte Mohd Hanifah is worth suffering for. You happiness is worth it if i should suffer.
Anytime u need someone im always here for you. Just beep me up or email or something.. I won't be on fb or twitter active for the time being.. I don't have any feel or thoughts to contact or talk to other girls so i hope the next time a girl text me up, it would be u.. I could ask so many people for your new number even from singtel but nehh... thats not right.
This song keeps me holding on to reality which i refused to accept before. Keeps me calm i've been listening to it the whole day. The only reason i always got angry in this situation was because i refused to accept reality i guess..I wish u could be by my side and help me change for the better.
I don't think u will be reading my blog.. But i hope one day u would without me asking u to.
Its the only place i can let my feelings out. Somewhere only u and me know of.
Hope u are always safe and doing good things.
Fad still loves Ziana as of 12 Jan 17.
Just want to share the things i keep praying for these days.. during my prayers i never fail to doa..
- For me to be stronger and better
- For u to be happy and safe
- And for allah to jodohkan kita berdua
" Ya allah kalau jodoh aku dan Norziana Bte Mohd Hanifah bukan lah untuk dunia ini, ku mohon kau jodohkan ku dengannya dia syurga "
You were always my special one someone irreplaceable. I never did things or cried for a girl like how i did before. Even in sadness and tears i was realising how much u meant to be. I told myself i was a fool for failing to look after u well.. But all i did was for your happiness. I can't bear to see u suffer so i chose to sacrifice my love,feelings and life so that the one i love can be happy.
People say "Everyone is gonna hurt you,but u gotta find the one worth suffering for"..
Yes Norziana Bte Mohd Hanifah is worth suffering for. You happiness is worth it if i should suffer.
Anytime u need someone im always here for you. Just beep me up or email or something.. I won't be on fb or twitter active for the time being.. I don't have any feel or thoughts to contact or talk to other girls so i hope the next time a girl text me up, it would be u.. I could ask so many people for your new number even from singtel but nehh... thats not right.
This song keeps me holding on to reality which i refused to accept before. Keeps me calm i've been listening to it the whole day. The only reason i always got angry in this situation was because i refused to accept reality i guess..I wish u could be by my side and help me change for the better.
I don't think u will be reading my blog.. But i hope one day u would without me asking u to.
Its the only place i can let my feelings out. Somewhere only u and me know of.
Hope u are always safe and doing good things.
Fad still loves Ziana as of 12 Jan 17.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
D-43
Another day begins.. im trying hard to be a man and be strong.. started strong but along the way it got rough again. I have to keep my head high so thay maybe somewhere along the way we cross paths again and i'd notice you.
U made quick changes to your life while i have to start slow. And the fact remains youre gone. No matter what i have to go thru this if it means u can find your own happiness.
Look up headstrong we are always under the same sky whenever.. time to get back up.. its my time to.. i need to..
There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change
Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now..
I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..
You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone..
You're...
I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know?
The time is passing so slowly now
Guess that's my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don't want to
So I'll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do
Yeah....
I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I Drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains
You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone...you're gone.. you're....
Gone
Oh...
Oh, what will I do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
Now that we are apart
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don't you see?
That I need you here with me
Oh...
I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains
Been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains
You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone
Gone
You're gone..
But the truth remains
You're....
I know i still love you as of 12 jan 17.
U made quick changes to your life while i have to start slow. And the fact remains youre gone. No matter what i have to go thru this if it means u can find your own happiness.
Look up headstrong we are always under the same sky whenever.. time to get back up.. its my time to.. i need to..
It took me everything i had to try to let you go.
There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change
Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now..
I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..
You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone..
You're...
I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know?
The time is passing so slowly now
Guess that's my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don't want to
So I'll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do
Yeah....
I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I Drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains
You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone...you're gone.. you're....
Gone
Oh...
Oh, what will I do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
Now that we are apart
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don't you see?
That I need you here with me
Oh...
I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains
Been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains
You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone
Gone
You're gone..
But the truth remains
You're....
I know i still love you as of 12 jan 17.
D-42
Did the thing i had to do. Talked to your dad. He gave the most straightforward words ever. Im not ready to be a husband and also a menantu.
Those were the truths i was looking for. He's right. And im sure u knew that. So im sorry for all that has happened this far. No wonder it wasnt easy for u to give chances.
Because i was still the problem. Now make the decision that u must. I have to bear with it and go on a journey to rebuild myself. I need to be better. Be it for u or for someone else.
I cant raise a family as i am. I realise that. I will do reflections upon myself and find peace. Hope u will be able to live a better life without me around. If we are fated we will meet again.
Its hurts baru sekejap tido i dreamt of being with u again. But a dream is just a dream. I will do my best to be strong. Till next time..insyallah..
The only one who destroyed me was myself. And the only one who can fix me best is myself too.
Muhammad fadhli bin mustafa should learn to love himself as of 11 jan 2017
Those were the truths i was looking for. He's right. And im sure u knew that. So im sorry for all that has happened this far. No wonder it wasnt easy for u to give chances.
Because i was still the problem. Now make the decision that u must. I have to bear with it and go on a journey to rebuild myself. I need to be better. Be it for u or for someone else.
I cant raise a family as i am. I realise that. I will do reflections upon myself and find peace. Hope u will be able to live a better life without me around. If we are fated we will meet again.
Its hurts baru sekejap tido i dreamt of being with u again. But a dream is just a dream. I will do my best to be strong. Till next time..insyallah..
Muhammad fadhli bin mustafa should learn to love himself as of 11 jan 2017
Monday, January 9, 2017
D-41
A picture tells a thousand words.. in this case it tells a whole story.
What did u see from the picture? Its about our dreams yet it tells reality.
- Me living in your shadow.
- Our dream of travelling the world together.
- Aurora lights that maybe soon u will be able to see for me.
- The sky is my hope for u to fly high beyond your limits and mine.
- Your dream of doing dance again which i dreamt of seeing also.
Theres more than whats mentioned just that it would be too long if i interprete it. Is sleepy already at this hr because i took 3 hrs pouring my feelings into this masterpiece. Hope u can understand the story beneath the picture.
It turned out pretty well i guess after years not trying.. hope u feel that its nice.
Your beauty brought out the life in this picture.
Till then..to be continued..
Well it seems u blocked me again for god knows why.. its ok i will try keep my word as to not bother u for a week. Its been like 41 days so a week is hard but i'll manage.
I know u don't like me much at the moment but as humans and as someone who had feelings for me before i hope u keep your word too. I don't know why its that hard. For me its hard because its love and feelings. But for an app im sure u can live without.
Update: I wont be unreasonable. I will agree to u using bigo at work like what i said earlier. But after work is rest time for u to recover after a long tiring night working right?
Even whatsapp blocked me out because they wont send verification code till the next 24 hrs so im stuck as it is for now. I know i cant make u realise anything. Hope as time goes by allah with slowly open up your eyes and heart.
Hanya allah sahaja yang tahu bertapa rindunya i pada u. So many things i want to say to u, so many things i want to do with u, so many places i want to go with u.
-Walaupun terluka, i masih nak cakap i sayang u sangat.
-Walau dijauhi, i masih nak cakap i rindu u sangat.
-Walau pedih, i tetap bertahan.
Another gift for you. Its not fully complete but i think its still nice and hope u like it..
U could use for bigo if u like.. As much as u love rihanna.. i love u more..
Fad still loves ziana as of 10 jan 17.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
D-40
Its been 40days already. I guess things are getting abit better not that it feels so good kan. Niwaes good morning zizi poyo. Im sitting here at work wondering if u managed to stay strong or did u faint instead.
Was rather upset last night bapak i still perangai.. 1+ am mak i had to go bang on his room door like 1 mad woman. It was really stressful i was trying to sleep.
Don't they think about me anymore? Im here trying hard to find peace in myself yet they brought chaos home. I guess its hard that my brother don't stay with us anymore.
All those fights and arguements i have to bear them alone. I guess even adults are never really adults they still have their childish/unnecesary arguements that can be settled in a more proper way.
Mak i lak ajak gi serawak next month ngan makcik i. I dont feel like going not at this moment though. Because i still feel it would be nicer if u could join along.
Back to work now.. to be continued..
Talking abt jodoh..for sure no one ever knows their jodoh. Its only a matter of wheather u want to sacrifice and simply commit to one person and that person offers the same commitment.
God wont seperate 2 people who were deep in love just like that. Yes god wants us to learn..and improve ourselves so we can be better for that person. Things happen for a reason. Not just simply god takes away feelings that were real just like that.
I still believe and keep believing in gods will.. and i believe god is fair and not cruel. Maybe because of how i was god took away your feelings for the moment. To test me if i really love u which i do.
I sabar. I tabah. I redha.
Fad still loves ziana as of 9 jan 2017.
Was rather upset last night bapak i still perangai.. 1+ am mak i had to go bang on his room door like 1 mad woman. It was really stressful i was trying to sleep.
Don't they think about me anymore? Im here trying hard to find peace in myself yet they brought chaos home. I guess its hard that my brother don't stay with us anymore.
All those fights and arguements i have to bear them alone. I guess even adults are never really adults they still have their childish/unnecesary arguements that can be settled in a more proper way.
Mak i lak ajak gi serawak next month ngan makcik i. I dont feel like going not at this moment though. Because i still feel it would be nicer if u could join along.
Back to work now.. to be continued..
Talking abt jodoh..for sure no one ever knows their jodoh. Its only a matter of wheather u want to sacrifice and simply commit to one person and that person offers the same commitment.
God wont seperate 2 people who were deep in love just like that. Yes god wants us to learn..and improve ourselves so we can be better for that person. Things happen for a reason. Not just simply god takes away feelings that were real just like that.
I still believe and keep believing in gods will.. and i believe god is fair and not cruel. Maybe because of how i was god took away your feelings for the moment. To test me if i really love u which i do.
I sabar. I tabah. I redha.
Fad still loves ziana as of 9 jan 2017.
D-39
Today marks Rafiqs wedding ceremony. Met so many old friends. Somehow i managed to pull myself together. It was hard.. But i was happy for a friend. Im proud of myself for being able to do that.
How are u today? Is blackie still around? Look after blackie for me ok feed it well. Cats can't speak but im sure they know what we are feeling. Kujing here is recovering well.. Her wounds are closing up.
Somehow these days abubu is friendlier with me unlike before. Im sure she misses someone too. Last night i read afew articles on the internet about things. I guess somethings happen without a reason to others too. Some moved on.. While some got back together again and is living a happy life. Guess its better to look forward to better things rather than sulking around.
I saw some comments.. There were people who said that.. the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Well i want to do some shopping but others are busy today. Guess its self recovery alone time again.. Dont miss your meals ok..
So i bought a couple of stuff.. haishh koyak liao.. no shopping kaki ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Niwaes.. just glad that u are back home. Now that u are home.. get some recovery time with family before taking another step out in the world again.
Do the things that u must.. but nothing that is bad or improper ok.. they say a broken engagement is not the end. No matter how slim the chances are..its proven that the chances are real there are people who got back up and lived happy lives till then.
Another thing i read is that.. find someone to stand by when u are ready not when u are lonely. That applies to myself too.. i know im ready.. but only for norziana bte mohd hanifah. So that means im not ready for anyone else at the moment. But i'll be alright.. so keep that in mind too.. if lonely,dont get someone to be by your side.. u can always get me though *giggles* but nehh for now u'll be fine to right?
Take very good care of yourself. Fighting! Honestly i really would hope to be able to catch up once in awhile with u for breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper/slack/outings anytime anyday soon.. till then signing off for tonight..
Fad still loves Ziana as of 8 Jan 17.
How are u today? Is blackie still around? Look after blackie for me ok feed it well. Cats can't speak but im sure they know what we are feeling. Kujing here is recovering well.. Her wounds are closing up.
Somehow these days abubu is friendlier with me unlike before. Im sure she misses someone too. Last night i read afew articles on the internet about things. I guess somethings happen without a reason to others too. Some moved on.. While some got back together again and is living a happy life. Guess its better to look forward to better things rather than sulking around.
I saw some comments.. There were people who said that.. the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Well i want to do some shopping but others are busy today. Guess its self recovery alone time again.. Dont miss your meals ok..
So i bought a couple of stuff.. haishh koyak liao.. no shopping kaki ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Niwaes.. just glad that u are back home. Now that u are home.. get some recovery time with family before taking another step out in the world again.
Do the things that u must.. but nothing that is bad or improper ok.. they say a broken engagement is not the end. No matter how slim the chances are..its proven that the chances are real there are people who got back up and lived happy lives till then.
Another thing i read is that.. find someone to stand by when u are ready not when u are lonely. That applies to myself too.. i know im ready.. but only for norziana bte mohd hanifah. So that means im not ready for anyone else at the moment. But i'll be alright.. so keep that in mind too.. if lonely,dont get someone to be by your side.. u can always get me though *giggles* but nehh for now u'll be fine to right?
Take very good care of yourself. Fighting! Honestly i really would hope to be able to catch up once in awhile with u for breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper/slack/outings anytime anyday soon.. till then signing off for tonight..
Fad still loves Ziana as of 8 Jan 17.
Friday, January 6, 2017
D-38
Good morning dear.. its the 7th.. another happy monthsary to u and me.
It still hurts bad. For dont know how many days straight i've still been dreaming about u.
My head hurts alot these days and im always dizzy feels like vomitting. Im trying my best to eat well.. still having problems sleeping. Still dont know when u will come back.
Im still longing to see your smile and feel the warmth of your hugs. How are u doing today have u eaten yet? Im at work and its been hard to work feels like half dead.
A day feels like a month. A month feels like a year without u. Hoping to see u again real soon. Are u thinking about me yet i hope u do. Now toilet calls so to be continued..
I wish i could move on but i still believe in us.. its not that simple and not that easy. I still want to fight for us. I know i love u im sure u do too. When will u be back home dear?
Today is rafiqs solemization kul 5 i should try to be happy. He and his sister is getting married on the same day.
I notice i've been losing weight. I need to do something about it i know. I will try to recover and i hope u will recover too. Dont let go because of the fights we had muu.. fights shld only make us stronger.
Im still waiting for u. Come back safe come back strong. Come back as my zizi poyo and not as velx ok.
Its true like how i expected. Weddings are supposed to be happy. But i felt sad. Really really sad. What can i do. Only keep hoping for the best. 💔
At least today ended off better than other days. We came to talking terms even though not that mesra. Yet its a good start. Don't know what the future holds but hopefully..things will get better.
Fad still loves ziana as of 7 jan 2017. Yes.. still..
It still hurts bad. For dont know how many days straight i've still been dreaming about u.
My head hurts alot these days and im always dizzy feels like vomitting. Im trying my best to eat well.. still having problems sleeping. Still dont know when u will come back.
Im still longing to see your smile and feel the warmth of your hugs. How are u doing today have u eaten yet? Im at work and its been hard to work feels like half dead.
A day feels like a month. A month feels like a year without u. Hoping to see u again real soon. Are u thinking about me yet i hope u do. Now toilet calls so to be continued..
I wish i could move on but i still believe in us.. its not that simple and not that easy. I still want to fight for us. I know i love u im sure u do too. When will u be back home dear?
Today is rafiqs solemization kul 5 i should try to be happy. He and his sister is getting married on the same day.
I notice i've been losing weight. I need to do something about it i know. I will try to recover and i hope u will recover too. Dont let go because of the fights we had muu.. fights shld only make us stronger.
Im still waiting for u. Come back safe come back strong. Come back as my zizi poyo and not as velx ok.
Its true like how i expected. Weddings are supposed to be happy. But i felt sad. Really really sad. What can i do. Only keep hoping for the best. 💔
At least today ended off better than other days. We came to talking terms even though not that mesra. Yet its a good start. Don't know what the future holds but hopefully..things will get better.
Fad still loves ziana as of 7 jan 2017. Yes.. still..
D-37
Its been about over a month since you asked to break off our engagement.. Its the 6th of Jan 2017 so i shall just start off as..
Day 37.
You've been gone from SG for 6 days. Not a word not a sight of you. Im sick and tired of blaming you for anything. I just want you back in my life.
-The things you said before you went off to batam yes they left me crushed and wondering till this day. BUT.. i dont care. I really don't. I really would forgive no matter what you have done. Everyone makes mistakes even me.
-You told your mum u malu because of the things i did on new year. I truely apologise for that as i was not in a right state of mind. I had a good share of scolding from your mum and mine. Thats why i vow..as long as u are still somewhere somewhat a part of me, i would no longer use facebook,twitter and such that can post stupid stuffs.
*I beg your forgiveness for all that has happened and i hope u would ask forgiveness from the people whom really loves u.
-Back to this day.. my mum had a long talk with your mum last night and i had alot of scolding from my mum. She never really knew my life story and always blamed me for being anti social. I texted u thru sms with regards to why i am what i am.
-I still cant perform well at work. Im always lost in my own mind soulless. Today i slept thru half day at work because too much was on my mind. The 2nd half of the day i took off to send bike for repairs/inspection. These days im always wondering.. Where u are and what u are doing.. Are u doing well? Hope u are eating and sleeping well.
-Every single day there will be people who ask me abt our current status.. Sometimes they throw hurtful words.. Sometimes they tell me to be patient and believe that Allah will save me.. When will u be back? Im missing your voice and your texts and your smile. Even when you call to scold me or text to curse me its ok at least i know u are still around.
-Now that you are away.. Its so much harder.. So much difference. Like i dont know what to expect anymore.. I honestly hope u are clearing your mind over there and doing alot of proper thinking. Im still keeping up with prayers and i still havent given up hope. I know i degil and u might find that irritating but i feel this is the biggest life changing decision for me so i want to try until the very end..
So that over the years i would not have regrets of not trying hard enough.
-I dont mind u staying there for as long as u need but im really hoping u will return with good news..
I may be broken but if i must break to the fullest then i'll do just that.I'll try to change along the way of waiting for your return.
-Tomorrow is Rafiq's nikah. Wish you could have been there but i know u are away recovering. It hurts me alot to go weddings these days but he's my friend the least i could do is come with a smile kan? Please don't miss your meals. Cover up when sleeping it might be cold. Im still waiting for my love.
U were never my past. U may not be in my present. U were always my future.
Fad still loves Zee as of 6 Jan 17.
Day 37.
You've been gone from SG for 6 days. Not a word not a sight of you. Im sick and tired of blaming you for anything. I just want you back in my life.
-The things you said before you went off to batam yes they left me crushed and wondering till this day. BUT.. i dont care. I really don't. I really would forgive no matter what you have done. Everyone makes mistakes even me.
-You told your mum u malu because of the things i did on new year. I truely apologise for that as i was not in a right state of mind. I had a good share of scolding from your mum and mine. Thats why i vow..as long as u are still somewhere somewhat a part of me, i would no longer use facebook,twitter and such that can post stupid stuffs.
*I beg your forgiveness for all that has happened and i hope u would ask forgiveness from the people whom really loves u.
-Back to this day.. my mum had a long talk with your mum last night and i had alot of scolding from my mum. She never really knew my life story and always blamed me for being anti social. I texted u thru sms with regards to why i am what i am.
-I still cant perform well at work. Im always lost in my own mind soulless. Today i slept thru half day at work because too much was on my mind. The 2nd half of the day i took off to send bike for repairs/inspection. These days im always wondering.. Where u are and what u are doing.. Are u doing well? Hope u are eating and sleeping well.
-Every single day there will be people who ask me abt our current status.. Sometimes they throw hurtful words.. Sometimes they tell me to be patient and believe that Allah will save me.. When will u be back? Im missing your voice and your texts and your smile. Even when you call to scold me or text to curse me its ok at least i know u are still around.
-Now that you are away.. Its so much harder.. So much difference. Like i dont know what to expect anymore.. I honestly hope u are clearing your mind over there and doing alot of proper thinking. Im still keeping up with prayers and i still havent given up hope. I know i degil and u might find that irritating but i feel this is the biggest life changing decision for me so i want to try until the very end..
So that over the years i would not have regrets of not trying hard enough.
-I dont mind u staying there for as long as u need but im really hoping u will return with good news..
I may be broken but if i must break to the fullest then i'll do just that.I'll try to change along the way of waiting for your return.
-Tomorrow is Rafiq's nikah. Wish you could have been there but i know u are away recovering. It hurts me alot to go weddings these days but he's my friend the least i could do is come with a smile kan? Please don't miss your meals. Cover up when sleeping it might be cold. Im still waiting for my love.
U were never my past. U may not be in my present. U were always my future.
Fad still loves Zee as of 6 Jan 17.
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